My Hypothetical Certificate in Applied Modern Chinese Studies
Today marks four years since my graduation from the University of California, Berkeley with a Bachelor of Arts in Latin American Studies. This means I’ve spent as much time as a university graduate as I did as a university student. The experiences feel parallel in terms of topical variety and timeframe. I’ve spent three of the past four years in China and one in California; I spent three of my college years in Berkeley and one particularly fabulous(!) year in Chile. To reflect on what I’ve learned over the past four years, I hereby grant myself a hypothetical certificate in “Applied Modern Chinese Studies.”
A photo from my first week in Jiaxing, in the convenience store across the street from the university.
Looking back at the lessons I’ve learned and the ways I’ve learned them, I propose the following course outline for this certificate:
Applied Chinese Language (3 years):
- Modules include casual chats with vegetable vendors and train travelmates; more than a year of twice-weekly one-on-one lessons with my wonderful tutor Layla; conversations about Barack Obama and basketball with students and taxi drivers; advanced pantomime and guessing; childrens’ books like 喜羊羊与灰太狼 .
喜羊羊与灰 太狼: that translates to “Pleasant Sheep and Big Big Wolf.” My best purchase today: A book featuring these cute characters, complete with both characters and pinyin. Its title translates to “The Blue Frog Prince” and I got lots of amused stares as I read it aloud with a patient, amused Chinese friend over dinner at one of my favorite vegetarian restaurants. Good times.
Happy New Year! And the Little Boy’s Favorite Toy
It’s nearly Chinese New Year. Here in Beijing there is remarkably little traffic, since many people have gone home for the holiday. The city seems to be taking a deep breath before two straight weeks of fireworks all day and all night.
Image Source: China Daily
I just received an email from someone considering the program that initially brought me to China, and she inspired me to look through my old mass emails. This story particularly cracked me up, so I’m sharing it again here. It’s part of an email I sent April 28, 2007.
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Students say the darndest things! For one of my lessons, I brought in a collection of random household products and toys for my students to advertise, including rubber duckies, a pink toilet plunger, a wooden back massage hammer, and a clay whistle in the shape of the chicken. I instructed each group to name the product, think of four or more unconventional uses for it, imagine its target customers, and put together a creative presentation. Many groups impressed me with their creativity. The duckies became trusted confidants, the pink plunger became a hat for toddlers to wear so their mothers wouldn’t lose sight of them in public places, the back massager became a self-defense weapon for elderly women, etc. I couldn’t help but laugh when one group advertised the chicken-shaped clay whistle. A shy boy explained, “This is small c*ck” (a word undoubtedly chosen with the help of an electronic dictionary). “Little boys think it is very interesting to play with. They play with it all day. Little girls think it is a bit boring….” Ah, I could not stop laughing….
But I also try to tackle some more substantial topics. I discussed the shooting at Virginia Tech with some classes. The Chinese are not allowed to own guns, and a large percentage of my students blamed this tragedy on insufficiently strict laws. They were horribly embarrassed by early news reports saying the shooter was Chinese. National pride runs deep here, as does the need to present a positive public image. However, a similar tragedy occurred at a Chinese university a few years ago, when a student stabbed his sleeping roommates. I guess that empathy and evil exist everywhere. All I can say is “rest in peace” and “seize the day.”
Leap + Lady Gaga Meets the Queen: 2 images I love
Inspiration from Seth Godin’s eBook “What Matters Now” from my favorite author of the moment:
And the best photo I’ve seen in a while: Lady Gaga meets Queen Elizabeth II.
image credit: Leon Neal/WPA Pool via Getty Images from this fun slideshow from New York Times online
P.S. If you’re looking for something more analytical, I’ve been writing up a storm at our new company blog: Beijing Corporate Training. I invite you to check it out 
From Nigeria to Nitrogen Chemistry: A Many-Storied Tribute
China is frustrating me today (visa drama… don’t ask… all I can say is that I’m writing this from Hong Kong) so I’ve taken this opportunity to reflect a bit on stories far from China, connecting the book in my hands with my childhood in California and my education from all over.
I just started reading Half of a Yellow Sun, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, the novelist who inspired this blog’s title. I’d like to share a passage from early in the story. Odenigbo (Master), a professor at a university in Nigeria, has just hired thirteen-year-old Ugwu to be his houseboy. Odenigbo announces that he will send Ugwu to school:
“There are two answers to the things they will teach you about our land: the real answer and the answer you give in school to pass. You must read books and learn both answers. I will give you books, excellent books.” Master stopped to sip his tea. “They will teach you that a white man called Mungo Park discovered River Niger. That is rubbish. Our people fished in the Niger long before Mungo Park’s grandfather was both. But in the exam, write that it was Mungo Park.”
“Yes, sah.” Ugwu wished that this person called Mungo Park had not offended Master so much. (14)
This reminds me of the way I learned history as a child. When I was at home over New Year’s, I found a book called One-Minute Stories of Great Americans, a gift from my history buff grandfather when I was six or seven. more »
I Love This Quote!
“I must learn to love the fool in me–the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool.” — Theodore I. Rubin, MD
(via A Cup of Jo)
I posted this as my gChat status for a while, and many people wrote to me saying they loved it! So here it is again. I feel like it should live on this blog. Enjoy!
